Why?

It's been a tough month. Two weeks ago we had 6 tornadoes touch down, then we had some great weather for a few days. Then it got all cold again, last night we had another tornado warning in effect. Grr, I just want this weather to stabilize!

I heard from Strider today, for about 20 minutes of the phone before the call got cut. At least I got to hear his voice, and got to play email tag with him for about an hour or so. Bad thing is where he is now. I hate this war crap, I wish it would just be over and there wouldn't be anymore troubles. but, of course that's not about to happen anytime soon. I miss him so damned much. I can't wait until he's home again.

*sighs* Well, that's it, I'm too down to write any more...

Gettin rough...

Two months are done, six remaining...it's so hard right now, maybe it's because this is our first Iraq tour, I dunno. I'm just so down right now, yet when I talk to someone on the phone or face to face I paint on a smile and act as though every thing's alright. Some days I find it so hard to get out of bed, but I have to, I have to take care of Bug. There's really no one around lately either. My friends who said they'd be coming out to visit have more excuses then carter has pills and no one seems to be home when I try to call anyone. I just feel so....alone.

Okay, so maybe I'm just feeling sorry for myself, or maybe it's starting to get to me. I look forward the times when Angie takes a nap, a little quiet in the middle of the day. But, then when she goes to bed at night it's too quiet. Every time Strider and I talk on the phone it gets harder and harder to say goodbye, and I catch myself whimpering as I hang up the phone.

I don't have the energy to clean, which I really need to do, my living room looks like an atom bomb went off in the toy box and sent everything everywhere. I also need to get back to painting, that at least made me happy and not think on the situation.

Plus, my mom's planning on moving to CA, she's putting her house on the market in June. She said when it sells she's out of here, so much for her sticking around until Strider got home. *sighs*

Oh well, another day marked off on the calendar is one day less, right?