Disappointed in people...

Over the past year I must have voted for who knows how many contests that women I know entered their kids into. I was hoping for some reciprocation, well, so much for that one. They're so damned wrapped up in their own little worlds that they could care less why I'm doing this.

I entered the contest with the intention of sharing the winnings, then Star's parents house burned to the ground leaving her family homeless...being homeless wasn't the worst part of it. Her father had full thickness burns over hos back, arms and the back of his neck, her step mother had been burned was well...the good news? Well, the good news is more of a miracle really, her baby sister made it out without even so much as a singed hair. So, I then changed where the winnings were going, I'm sending them out to Star so she can get them to her folks.

Imagine for a moment that you lost everything...how would you feel? You'd be lost, horrible lost. Now, imagine how it would feel if people you worked with, friends and family all donated to help you get back onto your feet. You'd be grateful, deeply grateful. now, imagine how it would feel for complete strangers to donate and show their love. You'd be awestruck and filled with more love then you knew what to do with.

Am I wrong in wanting to help her family even though I don't know them? No, I'm not. What is wrong is people I know, people who can't even return the favor and help me to win so I can send the items to Star. I'm disappointed in people....yet again.

The recipe I entered was my rolled turkey breast recipe. It'll be in the cookbook once it's complete. Anyway, the link's here - Contest. I've posted a link to it at least once a day since I entered, I even stated what I was going to do with the winnings, yet no one even seemed to care or want to help. Well, I guess this changes things a bit, doesn't it? The next time they want me to vote for them...they can forget it. And yes, I'm going to be petty.


And of course, now I start thinking about something else...all the people who signed up on the site for my recipes...hardly anyone posts or even comments. Really? If you want recipes you damned well better learn how to comment and talk in the forums. I gave people a sneak peak at the recipes that will be in the cook book and I'm starting to think that they don't even want to be there, they want something for nothing basically. Well, I'm still writing recipes, still taking pictures of the dishes, but I'm not posting them. If someone wants a recipe they can come to me directly.

I guess I'm just disappointed by people today, sad thing is, this happens more often then not.

< /rant >

DC...

You know how some people are followers? Well, I keep getting told that DC is a follower. Basically, when he was staying with us on the weekends he was laid back, relaxed and didn't drink unless it was one beer with me during dinner.

Anyway, I spoke to B the other day and she told me that he's been acting strange. He's hanging out with this other couple he knows, he works with the guy.

A little background on DC, he's Donna's soon to be ex-husband. Yup, she fucked up and lost a good guy.

Back to my < rant >...I'm worried about him. He got sick just before New year's and has been sick ever since. He stopped calling, texting and google chatting. I'm afraid that this new couple he's hanging around with will be bad for him. By bad I mean destructive. They like to party, they have no kids so they can. I think DC said they were asking him for 600$ per pay to rent a room...WTF? is that's the case then he's paying their fucking rent, which is wrong!

I've tried to talk to him but...I dunno..maybe I just worry too much...or maybe he's done what everyone else seems to do...drift away.

I hope he's okay, he's like a little brother to me.


< /rant >

Idea vs reality

It's astonishing how many parents actually use the TV as a baby sitter. Umm...excuse me, shouldn't you be taking care of your kid? Case in point....Donna. She would put the tv on and just sit on the computer all day ignoring her kid. That sickens me. The only time I ever saw her taking care of her kid was when she saw how I was with Bug. Seriously? That's not a mom, that's someone who enjoys the idea of a family but not actually having a family.

This is all too common to be honest. There are too many women out there who enjoy the idea of a family, but not actually having one. You can tell which women are the kind that simply like the idea and now the reality. They're the ones who use the TV as a baby sitter, the ones that don't give a damn, their kids are always dirty and so on. They're usually the ones to throw the first stones too, they'll call you a bad mother without looking in the mirror.

I've < rant >ed about Donna before, but I usually didn't use her name, well, guess what, now I am. Why? Because I could care less. If you like what I have to say...then don't read my blog!

Anyway, the whole thing has be burning, it really does. There are far too many parents out there that like the idea of kids, but not the reality of them. If you didn't want kids then why the hell didn't you use birth control? Don't give me the crap that it's against your religion, that's bull shit. I don't care what religion you're part of, no one has the right to tell you what you can and cannot do with your own body! You shouldn't pop out kid after kid after kid! Okay, apparently I have religion issues today too. But that'll be saved for yet another < rant >.

< /rant >

Just when you think it's safe...

There was an article in the news today, a woman down in SC hung and burned her nephew's 1 year old pit bull for eating her bible. Seriously? What the fuck was this woman thinking? I mean, okay, I can see how she was devout and all in her religion, but can someone please tell me where it says to hang and burn an animal for eating the bible? It's people like this that scare the hell out of me, but that's another < rant >.

This comes just days after two stories of kids being bitten by pit bulls in NC and TX. I have a pit bull, and let me tell you, he's a big baby. He's very, and I mean VERY, snuggly. If you're sitting on the couch, he has to be in your lap, and I mean all 60 some odd pounds of him! My daughter Bug can do anything to him and he adores her, even playing dress up. yup, you heard right, Bug plays dress up with Logan. usually putting a cape on his collar, or ribbons on him...you know, the whole Supper Pitty or cutie pitty. Yup, Bug sure does love to play with him. The only thing he eats are her Lego's...and he steals her stuffies...stuffies, as in stuffed animals for those who don't a dictionary that explains Kiminese. ( Long story short, that term came from my old Guild in PWI.)

Anyway, back to the point of this particular < rant >. If you look through the news or do a search for dog attacks in the news, what's the one breed most often mentioned? When they do mention the breed it's Pit Bulls. What about the Chihuahua's? They bite people all the time. So do other dogs. Other breeds also kill people but you hardly hear about it. What about the Shepherds, the Rotty's, and other breeds, like Chow Chow's? They all have bitten and or killed people, but do you hear about it as prolifically as you do the pit bull attacks? Nope, not even a little.

I used to have the most gentle and adoring wolf hybrid. Do you know how many people told me that wolves are dangerous and should be killed? Far too many. Let me tell you, my baby boy was the sweetest thing on four legs. He passed due to degenerative-myelopathy, disease of the spinal cord.

The pup we had before we got Logan was a Rotty/Sheppherd/Chow/something mix...he was a sweetie! Bug could do anything to him and he just adored her. But, we had to put him to sleep. He was sick, very sick. He had a severe seizure disorder that left him unconscious for 15 minutes after the grand mal seizure was done, and he had inoperable hip displaysia.

Out of all the dogs I've had there was one bad seed among them all. Chance, she was just bad. I got her from the shelter, they couldn't tell me anything about her past, other then she had been surrendered by her owners. Chance was a pit bull/lab mix. Black with very little white, she was sweet to start with, but then two or three weeks later she turned on me. I'm not talking the little growls or posturing to keep me away from her, I'm talking full out turned, aggressive and dangerous. She attacked me several times, even when Strider was home, even in my sleep! So I had to have her euthanized. When I took her to the Humane Society they told me the biggest line of bullshit I've ever heard. They actually said that if I had spayed her that it never would have happened! Can you believe that bullshit?! Seriously, since when does spaying or neutering a dog change it's personality?

I used to be leery about Pit Bulls, and I had good reason. I didn't hate the breed, I hated what had become of Chance. But after having Logan here, I can tell you that they're a gentle breed, if not a bit thick headed and stubborn.

I'm sitting here typing away and Logan's sound asleep at my feet. He's such a good foot warmer, and a great critter to have in our house. Even if he's a bit insane when it comes to one of our three cats. Logan and tempest have this love hate thing going on.

Anyway, back on track. The whole thing about dogs attacking people...it's not the dog's fault. And I'm not defending any one breed here. It's all how the dog is raised. It's the owner's responsibility to train the dog properly.

If you go to a store and someone's kid is screaming and throwing a tantrum that they want something, what do you think? That kid needs a good stern lesson in how to behave in public. Having a dog is like having another child, you better train it right or it'll be unruly and walk all the hell over you. Do you want a good dog or a spoiled brat? The choice is yours, folks. Just like with your kids, do you want them to be good and treat people with respect or do you want little thugs running around getting into trouble every chance they get?

I read somewhere a comment by a complete idiot. He tried to compare pit bulls to lions and tigers, saying that they belong in a zoo. Where the hell did he get his information from? See, this is what the media has done. Every ten or so years they garb onto a breed of dog and make it the proverbial whipping boy for the BSL (Breed Specific Legislation) folks. They're not just against APBT's, they're against any breed that happens to show up on their radar for that specific set of years. Once they fear monger the hell out of one breed they move on to the next. This all has me wondering, what breed will be the next one on the chopping block? Why not the ones that are actually dangerous? The little ankle biters that are mean and down right attack anything or anyone? Why? Because yet again that's not the dog, that 's the owners lack of responsibility. Socialize your dog. You'd socialize your kid, right? Why not do the same for your dog? if you want your dog to play nice with other dogs and people, then expose them to all kinds of people and animals.

When it's a small dog that bites someone it gets pushed under the carpet. The reason for all the hoopla about APBT's is because they're used as fighting dogs by the assholes of this world. I don't care who the fuck you think you are...you DO NOT USE DOGS FOR FIGHTING!!! I don't give a flying fuck what breed it is, YOU DON"T DO IT! It's wrong! How would you feel if I put you in a ring and made you fight someone just because? Oh, wait, we already have that kind of thing, it's called boxing and full contact fighting....see the trend here? People are sick.

I've been around dogs all my life. Never can I remember a time when I did not have at least one dog and one cat.

Well, there's my thoughts on all of this...take it as you will.


< /rant >

Taxes, taxes, taxes...when can I file...

Okay, so congress passed a bunch of new laws regarding tax filing. How does that affect us? Hmm, let's see. Reading over the information is like stereo instructions to me, makes little to no sense. Or maybe I just need some more caffeine in my system to understand it.

We always save our sales receipts, the normal deduction is 250$ if you do not save them, we save them and our deduction is over 700$( this is a little known thing, we found out about it a few years back from VITA, make sure you ask about it). Plus the deduction for both mortgages, Strider's tuition even though the Navy covers it 100%, Bug's glasses, any prescriptions we get at RiteAid instead of the base pharmacy, the interest on our mortgages, savings accounts, Thrift Savings account(active duty thing), state taxes (Maine for us) and so on. There are so many deductions that make it easier for people. We usually get back about 7k-8k a year, which all goes toward paying off bills and clothing for Bug.

Here's the run down on some deductions you may not have known about. (From Commonly Overlooked Tax deductions)

1. Out-of-pocket costs for charity. There's a perception that charitable donations only include cash or goods. This is because the value of your time spent volunteering for charitable organizations is never deductible. However, out-of- pocket expenses relating to volunteering for charitable organizations are deductible. Costs would include the cost of transportation, such as driving (the standard mileage rate for 2009 is 14 cents a mile for charitable purposes), parking fees and tolls. You can also claim travel expenses while you're away from home performing services for a charitable organization, assuming the expenses are related to the services and not for personal use (such as a vacation). Travel expenses would include air, rail, and bus transportation (as well as expenses for your car); taxi fares or other costs of transportation between the airport or station and your hotel; the cost of lodging; and the cost of meals.

2. Transportation for medical visits. Sure, you've dutifully tucked away your receipts for co-pays to the doctor, but what about the costs of getting there? The cost of getting to and from medical appointments is deductible. If you drive, you can claim your actual expenses associated with the drive or claim the standard medical mileage rate: For 2009, it's 24 cents per mile. Bus fare, train fare, or cab fares are also deductible, as is the cost of tolls and parking.

3. Job hunting expenses. While you can't deduct the cost of looking for your first job (sorry, new grad!), you can deduct out-of-pocket expenses related to your job hunt if you've been laid off or are simply moving on. This includes paper, printing, and stamps for your resume; online expenses to post your resume (on Craigslist, for example); fees paid to employment agencies; travel to and from interviews; long distance calls to prospective employers; and the costs of getting a portfolio or other work samples together. You must be looking for a job in the same profession -- you cannot deduct the cost of looking for a job in a new profession. You also can't deduct job expenses if there has been a "substantial break" between leaving your last job and starting to look for new job. You don't have to have success within a reasonable amount of time, but you do need to be looking.

4. Student loan interest paid by parents. Generally, you can only deduct items on your tax return that you actually pay. But the IRS gives students a break: If you are legally obligated to make interest payments, and your parents make a payment on your behalf, the IRS allows you to take the deduction. This is a great way for parents to help out by making the payments and allowing the child to claim up to $2,500 of student loan interest. Even better? Student loan interest is an above-the-line deduction, which means you can claim it even if you don't itemize.

5. Property tax. For 2008 and 2009, homeowners who don't itemize can increase their standard deduction amount by a portion of property taxes they paid. The increase is capped at $500 for taxpayers who file as single or $1,000 for those who file married filing jointly. To claim the extra deduction, you'll need to complete a Schedule L with your tax return.

6. Gambling losses. You may know that you have to report your gambling winnings as income on your tax return -- even if you won them illegally. But did you know you can deduct your losses as well? You can only deduct gambling losses if you itemize deductions on your tax return, and the amount of losses cannot be more than the amount of gambling income you reported on your return. To prove this, it's important to keep accurate records of your gambling winnings and losses. Depending on where you're getting your winnings (or losses), many casinos will put this information in writing for you.

7. Tax preparation fees. You can claim a deduction for out-of-pocket expenses paid for tax preparation software, tax publications and the costs associated with electronic filing. Those expenses, together with fees paid to a tax preparer in the year of the return (for example, fees paid in 2009 would be reported on your 2009 return) will be reported on Schedule A of your federal form 1040 as an itemized miscellaneous deduction.

8. Home improvements. Most homeowners are aware they can deduct the cost of a mortgage associated with the purchase of a new home. You can also deduct the interest paid on a loan used for the construction of a major improvement to your home. For tax purposes, there is a difference between home improvements and home repairs -- an improvement will add to the value of your home, whereas a repair merely returns it to its previous state. Keep good records to substantiate your claims.

We always go to the VITA center or TAC, it makes it so much easier for us and they've been really good about not messing up on our taxes in the 6 years we've been having them do them. If you don't have access to them there's always Liberty Taxes, H&R Block and an abundance of other companies or private tax preparers out there. Just make sure they have a tax ID number, this isn't something new, but the IRS is cracking down on this.

Make sure you talk to your tax preparer if you have questions about deductions.

Friends...where?

Go ahead, rub it in that you go out with your friends and have fun. Go right ahead. I know I have no life, I know that I have no friends in the area, I know that I suck as a person. So what, you're one of the lucky ones, good for you.

The amount of real friends I have I can count on two hands at the most, maybe 6 or 8 people in total. Everyone else could care the fuck less. I tried to being there for people like Priss and Prim, look where it got me, pushed aside like last years shoes, tossed to the back of the closet to be ignored. I thought I had actually made some friends around here when I met them, yeah, okay, I was delusional, seriously delusional. There have been others aside from them that did the same thing. They hung with me and acted like it was something they were being forced to do. When Priss and Prim were here for Bug's 4th birthday they stuck together, they talked about getting together with one another...in front of me. Thanks a lot, seriously, what a way to make someone feel like total shit.

There are others who have been really upsetting me lately too. No matter what i say, no matter how often I'm there for them, no matter how many sleepless nights I get to keep them company when they need someone...they're not around when I need someone. You wanna know the kicker? They don't even see it. Maybe they'll see it when I stop answering texts and start sending their calls straight to voice mail. Maybe then they'll get the hint.

If you're going to say that you're going to be there for me when I need someone to talk to, then be there. Don't just sit silently on the fucking phone, or argue with your fucking spouse or go off on another fucking tangent. I listen to you, I offer you advice, I talk to you about your problems...why can't you do the same for me? Is it that difficult for you? maybe I should walk away.

Maybe I'm too harsh of a person, maybe I'm too damned brash, maybe I'm just too different. Maybe that's why no one seems to want to be around me. Fuck everyone, I'm through being nice or even trying to make friends. if I'm meant to be without people to hang out with, then so fucking be it. I'm done. Good bye, assholes.

At least I have my bug, she gives me little cards every day with the words "I love you, mommy" inside them that she wrote. I spend every moment with her, every single moment.

< /rant >

Spitting fire...

I was at the place before, been through a good share of hell. It was because of everything I had been through that I became a rape crisis counselor for Camden Co, NJ. I just wish other women can be strong too and get away from situations like that, but not everyone can find that strength. A lot of the time that strength has been beaten into submission, where it lays so afraid deep inside of them, cowering in the shadows of their minds. If they get the one push they need, sometimes, just sometimes, then can regain that strength and wake up the fighter inside of them. I firmly believe that all women have the spirit to fight inside of them and sometimes it takes a near death experience before they can find that strength. Yet there are the women who love so blindly that they end up statistics, and those are the ones I feel most sorry for.

I don't feel sorry for them because they died, I feel sorry for them because they never had the strength to stand up for themselves and to fight. Go ahead, say what you will, but I believe that every woman can fight back. Why should be allow ourselves to be victimized by our lovers, husbands, wives, children, neighbors or others. Stand up for yourself, see the signs that are right in front of you.

You think I'm callous, well, you know what? I was there. I was beaten, raped, nearly broken. You know what? I found the strength to get away, I found the strength to scream out in a rage that was so deep that it scared me half to death, yet I focused it all on making my life better and trying to help others. Did I feel at fault for what happened to me? Bet your ass I did. My own mother called me a liar when I told her I was raped, she adored the guy, refused to believe that he could do such a thing. People are capable of some rather sick things, and some of the truly sick ones get off on doing those things to others.

I've written a lot of poems about stuff like this, some have been called inspirational for the abused women, strengthening and empowering. But, with all the pain I see in the eyes of women who suffer like we have, it pisses me off when they can't break away. It kills me to see abused people become abusive parents, they can't break the cycle, or their afraid to. I've broken the cycle, I refuse to perpetuate it, I refuse to hurt my daughter. Gods help anyone who tries to make her a victim....I'll kill them, I'll rip them apart. No one threatens or hurts a child, there's no excuse for it. And the woman KD spoke of who threatened the child like that needs to get her ass handed to her. There is no excuse for that, and in my mind....she should be the one euthanized.

Wake up, ladies, this isn't going to just go away. If you're being hurt, treated like shit, being stepped on...stand up for yourself! It's time to turn the tides and refuse to accept this sort of abuse any longer. Look into his/her eyes and tell them you've had enough. If you're too afraid to do that...then please, go to a woman's shelter. They can't follow you there, they can't hurt you anymore there. You'll get help, you'll be safe. Please, if you have children, leave, go to the shelter. If not for your own sake, then for the sake of your children.

< /rant >