Holiday drama...

This holiday has been a rough one,not just because of the recent loss of Gaebrial, but because of the way my mom's been.  On Christmas Bug was talking about something and my mom got on her case, telling her to come up with another excuse.  I must have told her ten times to stop, she just kept going after Bug, what the fuck is wrong with her?

No matter what Bug does my mom goes after her,she's always so damned mean to her.  She makes my Bug cry...no one makes my Bug cry! She belittles her, rags on her, yells at her, treats her like complete crap, why?  Why would she be like that with my child? Is she really that jealous that my relationship with Bug?

Over the past few years she's gotten angrier and more spiteful in the way she acts. Every time she talks to me or Bug she starts a fight, tries to make me angry, tries to get me to yell at her. I'm really starting to think that she needs help, but she refuses to acknowledge the fact that she has a problem. She has these manic phases too, either really pissed off or really happy. Do I have the right to talk to her doctor about it? Even if I'm her medical advocate...do I have the right?  Should I even put thought into it? Does thinking about telling her doctor make me a bad person?

I need to rest, this week has run me down something fierce, especially dealing with my mom.


< /RANT >

I just can't win!

How is it that every time I go anywhere with my mother that she ends up starting a fight and I end up the bad guy?

Tonight we went to Lowes to get a battery for her, a filter and chiminae for me..well, the lady in the department for the chiminae basically ignored me. When my mom asked if I was getting it I told her no and why.  She proceeded to make a scene about it even though I told her not to, that it wasn't worth, that I'd just go else where to get it.  Well, thanks to her I looked like an asshole kid who disrespects my mother because she got me to yell at her for not listening to what I had said in the first place.

And I wonder why I had a stroke back in March. She drives me up the fucking wall! Always picking fights with me, always demeaning Bug, saying shit she has no right to say, and being a total and complete bitch to me and Bug!

It's also seeming like the older she gets the more she forgets, the meaner she gets and the more she tries to act like someone she's not. I know she needs friends, she really does, but, with the way she is she won't get any.  None that are sane or even willing to stick around that is.  She's had some friends, three of them went totally insane, now she says she's friends with the son and daughter in law of one of her friends that went nuts.

I know that she can be a nice person, but lately, as in the last five years, it seems to only be when she's getting her way. She lives off stress and strife, or at least that's how it seems.

On a much brighter note...we spent the afternoon with Amber and her girls, they were so happy to see Bug! It was so awesome to sit down to a nice lunch. Bug got to see, feed and pet one of her chickens, talk about fun for her!  This coming weekend we're gonna go back out there for a day just to hang out for a few hours. Since Strider has duty this coming weekend we'll need to keep busy, so hanging out with Amber and maybe Jay too will make it a great weekend!


< /RANT >