He called!

Bug and I were in the shower, I had brought the phone in and turned the volume all the way up just in case. He called me from BAB! It was so damned good to hear his voice!! I miss him so much. I've been dreaming about him too, and no I won't share those dreams here.

Missing him

Strider got to Germany safely, but he couldn't get an operator on the line to call me, so he emailed me. I miss him so much, it's so hard not to loose it right now, and we have so much more time to go until he's home.

Breaking my heart...

Strider called me tonight, collect. Not like I care, I mean, so long as I get to hear his voice I'm all good with it. I asked him what was wrong and he didn;t answer, it sounded like he was crying. When I asked him if he was crying he said he was...he doesn't cry...ever. He loves me so much, he loves Bug so much that this is killing him as much as it's killing me. He said he'll call me when he gets to Germany...I can't wait to hear his voice again. I miss him so damned much.

Please let the next 5 months go by quickly....please....

Yesterday (A new poem...finally)

It feels like just yesterday
That you told me you loved me
That you held me in your arms for the first time
That we kissed with so much passion
It was the beginning of our life together

Do you remember how it all started?
I do, like it was yesterday
I stood at the booth in jeans and a chainmaille bikini top
You were arrogant and stubborn
You stalked me, hunted me, pursued me

There was nowhere for me to hide
In the end I gave into your desires
I took you home with me, you met my mom
You took me to see my brother in the hospital
You took me out for dinner...you got a ticket for no headlights

We made love with passion unbridled
We said words so sweet and full of hope
When the leaves began to fall from the trees
You asked me to marry you, but not in the traditional way
More like a common place discussion is what it was

I dropped my wine glass and stared at you
I said yes with a smile and a glad heart
But I had my doubts about your sincerity
Until the day you put that ring on my finger
And we said I do

We have been through so much together
We've grown so strong together
We've created a child together
And now you're going away
So far away from me, it hurts my heart




I pray that you'll return to me
That you'll be safe
That you'll be secure and in good health
You are my world, my life, my love
You bring me passion and thoughts that I cannot speak

Do you remember how it felt?
When we kissed that last time?
It was like the flame was burning so deep within us
That nothing could quell it
And now I wait for you to return to me, my love

We are one in so many ways
But do you remember when it first became obvious?
I do, like it was yesterday
We were swimming in the lake at the mountain
I looked into your eyes and asked you if you loved me

You said you did as you stared deep into my eyes
I knew at that very moment that it would be forever
I write in my journal for you, so you can read my thoughts
I help our daughter to paint, to sculpt to draw things for you
I have your picture all over the house

I miss you more with every passing day
My heart cries out for you
My body screams for your touch
My lips beg to taste your kiss
I remember how it felt to touch you, to kiss you

When you return to me we will kindle that flame once more
We will be as one again
We will be stronger then ever before
We will endure the distance and grow from it
Yesterday is our tomorrow

It feels like yesterday that I held you in my arms
That I kissed your lips
Touched your face
Held your hand
I miss you, my love

Man I get a break now???

Well, today we said our goodbyes over the phone, Strider has to be up and on the transport at the butt crack of dawn in the morning. He said he'll call when he gets to Germany, it'll be so good to hear his voice.

Today was an absolutely terrible day. I woke up to the sound of our dog Remy puking, not just once, but so many times that I took him to the vet. Turns out that his pention for eating everything in sight, including my clothing, has caused him alot of badness...and is costing me a lot of money that we don't have. He needed surgery to remove a bloackage in his stomach/intestines. So, yeah, it's been a bad day.

Bug's been saying "I want daddy home now" and "I miss my daddy" and "Mommy, call daddy now." I wish I could wave my hand or pray to the goddess and have him be home, but that's not about to happen. And so, we have 172 days until he's home again.

The house seems colder now that he's gone, and I find it hard to breathe, I miss him so much, even though he pisses me off to no end at times.

*sigh*

206 days...

Tomorrow Bug and I take Strider to the airport. It's really hard to try to see the months to come without him here, but we'll make it, one day at a time. After he leaves we won't see him for 206+/- days...my heart's breaking over this crap.

*sigh*