Two scary words...

As though things couldn't get any worse they did...  I went in for the ultra sound of my right knee today.  Two of my doctors both said it was a Baker's Cyst...man were they wrong.  The lady who was doing the ultra sound said that it looked like a tumor...yup, a tumor.

That single word...tumor...can make the heart stop, the mind race, and fear to grip you as tight as steel bands.  No matter how strong you think you are, as soon as you hear those words in regards to yourself, you get spooked.  Of course Strider's not that freaked out about all of this, not like I expected him to even show it, but still.

I can't even go talk to my neighbor KA, she's been too busy hanging out with KM lately.  They've been inseparable, I guess it's good that they found each other, but did they have to stop talking to me? KM tries to act as though she cares, but I'm not even sure if she does anymore.  It's okay, I'm used to this happening, I can get through this without them if I have to.

I'm just hoping that this isn't the cancerous type of tumor, especially where it is, too close to the lymph node behind my knee, it's not good looking.  I've had one fight with cancer, if I have to fight it again, I will.

The really hard part is that I know that I'll need surgery to have it removed, but Strider won't be here for it.  He's deploying anytime within the next week, maybe two at the most.  With him leaving soon I need to stay strong and not let Bug see me crack.

Strider will be deploying for 6 months, when Bug was younger it was so much easier, but now that she's older, I have a feeling it'll be a bit rougher on both of us. We'll get through it, just have to keep busy and keep my chin up. Yet another word that's scary...deploying...

I think that's it for now...I need to get my head together so I can handle all this crap that's been piled onto my plate over this past month.


< /RANT >