Military Wife & A Mom...

Co-parenting is difficult when one parent is away, I can say this from experience. Yes, there is a comparison, in a small part, to being a single parent, in the respect that you're alone doing it all state side while your spouse is off in a foreign country where he or she could possibly get hurt or killed. So yes, there is a lot of stress, between the deployed member being gone, the kid(s), bills, house, family and everything in between. It may feel as though you're a single parent, but in reality you're not, even though your spouse may be gone, they're still there when they can be to talk to you. Having no one here to help during a crisis, tantrums, fights in school, illness' surgeries....yes, it hard as hell doing it ALL alone. Last year Strider was gone for 6 months, home for a little over five months and now gone for a YEAR.

When the spouse is gone you can't always wait for a response on how to handle a situation, I know that when kids are young you can't wait to decide what disciplinary actions should be taken, you do what you feel is right then tell your partner later. That's what I have to with Strider gone, that's what ALL military parents do, the ones I know that is. Being a parent is one of the hardest jobs you'll ever have, especially when you're married to the military, this comes from 15 years of marriage to a military man and 7 years as a mom.

While they're gone you may feel inadequate, vulnerable, alone, scared...it's all normal and natural to feel that way when you're tossed into a situation that's new to you. Just breathe, and ask for help. Your civilian friends won't get it, they'll try to compare their husbands going away for a weekend to what you're going through. Your family may not get it, unless you come from a military family. Some other military wives will be there to support you, and some will be three to tear you apart.

Remember this, you're perfect, you're more than adequate, you're strong, you're brave, you're NOT ALONE.

The separation is only the beginning, to be honest. The homecoming is just as hard, sometimes harder. They have to readjust to life state side, to the way the house runs, how the kids act...everything. After they get re-acclimated and re-acquainted with the family, then you get to try to go back to the way it was before he left, that can be rough.

And Gods forbid if they come home wounded, that's a whole other ball game.

When I hear or see women who are married to deployed soldiers call themselves single moms, I want to slap them, they're not single moms, they're wives and moms of the military!

Hold your head up high, stand proud of who you are and what you do! And remember this, you're what gives them the strength, courage and drive to fight for our freedom, you're the reason why he comes home, you and the children! I know Strider will be coming home to me and Bug, and I know that he misses us and that he loves us.



< /RANT >