Why am I going to bed alone?

Good question. With only a few days left before Strider leaves for a full year you'd think that he'd want to snuggle or make love to me. So what's stopping him, you ask? A fucking video game.

He's been up playing the game until way early in the morning. At this rate we won't even any intimate moments between us before he leaves...unless this is what he wants.

Is he trying to push me away? Unintentional or not it still hurts like hell. Not to mention what he said last night. I told him about what this one person said about why he didn't want Bug and I going with him do Bahrain. The whole he has another woman out there crap that I always hear just before he leaves.

He actually said that he'd still come home to us as though nothing was going on...and he wonders why I worry?

Should I worry? I hope not. I'd really hate to have to walk away from him and take Bug with me...breaking apart our family would suck.

Anyway, here it is after 2am and I'm alone in bed...sometimes it feels like he's already left..like he's not really even here until he wants to to it touch me...

Is my marriage really this fucked up or is just my nerves because if how long he's going away for this time?

Time for bed, lets hope I can get through this without losing my mind or my faith in Strider.


< /RANT >