What a crazy few days...

Saturday Bug's troop went to Rock The Beach, the girls all had fun, which is what is was all about. We had thought that it ran until 4pm, man were we ever wrong. They ended up kicking everyone out of the main room at 2pm.

We were sitting out in the breezeway trying to decide what we were going to do next, while Amber and I did that KS was playing a game with the girls.

From the moment we all met up at the fire station KA had an attitude. I should have known she would start trouble. An hour or so after we had all gotten home KA called me. She actually had the gal to say "don't take this as a personal attack" then she went on to say that when I had gotten Bug and Lilbug some cotton candy that it was unfair to the other children...let me say this before you start in on this subject too. When this event was arranged we had stated that if the parents wanted their kids to have any extras that they had to provide them with some money. Anyway, the only one that did that was Lilbug's mom.

Today I sent Amber a text and asked her what KA wanted, she told me that KM and KA want to take over the troop!  LOL That make me giddy, it made Amber giddy too...not because we don't have to lead anymore, but because they're going to find out how screwed they'll be when the organisation doesn't help them either.  KA was rather pissy when I told her that I was walking away too because I'm tired of the psycho drama and such, she actually started to get bitchy with me. I know that this was the plan to begin with between the two of them, KA and KM, they've been trying to get Amber against me for a while now.

Tomorrow I'm meeting Amber at the GS store to get the girls some end of the year/end of the troop goodies. We refuse to lend a hand to KM and KA if they wants to run the troop, why should we? They barely ever raised a finger when we asked them for help.

Not to mention that KM is now taking care of KA' kids and driving KA' hubby's car...that sums it up, doesn't it?

Can't wait until Friday when Amber announces it and I let everyone know that if they want to get in touch with me they can get my number after the event because I'm stepping down too.  Hmm, I wonder how many people will be sticking around after Friday?  I guess we'll have to wait and see!

Oh! Tomorrow my Bug will be in a show at her school!!  I can't wait to record it so that Strider can see it! I'm so proud of my Bug! Strider's going to love it! I plan on showing it to Amber as well.  Bug said that she's going to be teamed up with her two best friends! That's so awesome!

I got her progress report for this quarter, she got all straight A's again! That's my girl, I couldn't be prouder of her! She's done so well in school, granted, a lot of it's because of all the homeschooling I've done.

So far she's doing pretty good with this deployment, she's not too emotional, and she removes one link off the chain every night before bed. As she takes the chain off she says "I love you, daddy, I miss you, see you soon." then she puts the link into a bag. She's even going to be starting a journal of our summer adventures called "My Summer Adventures With Mommy!" It'll have photos in it, things she's collected, seen, cards or something from the places she's been as well as a little write up on the things she felt, saw and did at each place or outing. Her book was started when we caught and identified a Asilidae, commonly known as a Robber Fly ( and yes she set it free).  A photo of her at Chuck E. Cheese's from Desty's b-day party, which Bug totally enjoyed!

That's about it for now I suppose...


< /RANT >

A bit sad today..

Usually I don't use the word 'hate'...but today I think I'll use it...I hate deployments!

Late Tuesday night Bug and I drove Strider to the airport on base to see him off. It wasn't a fun time for me, not even a little bit.  Having to let my love go isn't an easy thing for me. I love Strider so damned much that I really hate being apart from him, even if we do need the time apart every so often. The thing I really dislike is that when he gets home the day after Bug's b-day he'll be with us for eight months, then he'll leave us again in June of 2013. We have three deployments ahead of us before he retires...unless he makes Chief, then he'll stay for an extra three years after his twenty.

So far Bug's been handling it pretty well, despite Strider not being able to Skype us yet. The last word we got from him he was in Italy.

While he's gone I'm going to do a lot of things with Bug. I even offered to help Jay and her hubby with the work they want to do in their house. In exchange they'll be helping me with the patio, which I think is awesome.

Bug and I went to dinner last night with Jay and her family. The girls really enjoyed it, so did us adults, it was great to have time with them.

The only unnerving thing that's happened so far was the sound of breaking glass in the house. Bug and I went through the house and found nothing, it was a bit weird.

Sorry, there were two things that made me raise a brow. The other thing was that A asked me to take over the troop...as in fully take over and find a new assistant...umm...I don't know if I can do it...what if I screw up? I told A to wait a few weeks then see how she feels.  I also told her that I would only take the lead if she was my assistant. I know that sounds horrible to put that on her, but I don;t feel comfortable with anyone else in the aspect.  I have a meeting with A today over lunch so we'll see what happens.

I guess that's it for now...


< /RANT >

Everything in a jumble

So, last night's Girl Scout meeting went great, the girls had fun painting their own little wooden flower hanger thingie and pinwheel flowers, all made out of wood.  Not long after the meeting started KM showed up and decided to pull all the moms over to the side to talk to them. She said some things that she seriously should NOT have said.

She told us that she had gotten her church for Mondays, when the moms there, which were all but one, said that Monday's wasn't good for us, KM actually had the balls to say "If Monday's aren't good for you there's a troop that meets on Fridays, two troops actually".  My jaw about hit the floor! I went over to where Amber was and told her what KM had said, which was wrong, wrong, wrong! Amber handled it.  Needless to say, KM tried to make it sound as though if people didn't want to have the meetings at her church on Mondays that they would have to find another troop! She's freakin' nuts!

After the meeting was over I stood outside by the cars and talked with Amber. She asked me to run the Daisy troop next year! I was so stunned that I said yes! We talked about what KM had done, and she decided that she wanted to cut it down to just her and I because of KM's attitude and everything else. We're just hoping that KM won't make a scene at RtB. If she does I'm going to call for security and have her removed.

I also have a feeling that KA isn't going to let her daughter go because of all this, which means another 15$ that would be wasted. We already paid for all the tickets for the troop and the chaperons, me, Amber and KM. Just watch KM not even bother to show up, which will leave us short a driver and available car space.

On another note, Strider came home yesterday morning and told me that he's leaving for his deployment on Tuesday! OMG short notice! Thank you Navy! At least we have this weekend with him, as well as Monday and all day Tuesday until we take him to the bird Tuesday night. It's going to be hard on Bug, but we'll make it through, I know we will.  Just to be on the safe side I'll be keeping Bug home from school on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, possibly Thursday as well, I'm not sure yet considering that Thursday is the leader meeting for the troop.

I'm going to have to keep Bug super busy this summer. Thankfully I've got Jay to keep me company, and her daughters love Bug, and Bug called her daughter Lala her  twin!

Well, that's about it for now. I have eggplant soaking for dinner, the rose transplanted, and the new cage for Snow all set up...maybe now I can get a few minutes to myself.


< /RANT >

At least it ended well

Today was a rather good day overall, even though my mom tried to start a fight with me.

I met Jay over at the school, Bug and I followed her back to her house so Bug could play with Lala. They had fun, they painted, played and ran amuck. Jay and I sat and talked yet again, it was great. We talked about the things that we can't talk to anyone else about, paranormal stuff. It's so good to be able to talk to someone about this kind of stuff again. Since I lost Mylia and Annie it's been hard being alone. Especially when it comes to magic and protection. I miss having the power of three, at least now I have someone I can talk to about things again.

Strider has to work again tonight and tomorrow night, but he has the weekend off which is awesome. Hopefully Jay and her hubby and kids will join us for Mother's Day dinner over at Yukai. Jay's hubby likes sushi and she wants to try it. I think they'll like the place, I really do.

Tomorrow we'll be going over to their place again tomorrow and they might be coming over here again on Friday.

There's really no way to explain how it feels to be near Jay, it's peaceful, that's the only word that I can even think of to try to describe it.

Can't wait to see what tomorrow brings. I have PT in the AM, then lunch and maybe a bike ride if the weather's good. I may even stop off at Jay's house on my ride.

That's it for now.

< /RANT >

Troubled day...

This morning Bug left for school without her lunch. She packed everything in her lunch pail except her salad, if I'd known she forgot it I would have grabbed it before we left to get her to school. So I ran it over to the school and gave it to her. My silly Bug.

Last night I had to separate Snow and Cloud. Cloud was attacking Snow, poor little Snow was bitten all over, his nose, back, feet and belly. After getting him cleaned up and some antibiotic ointment on the bites I put him into the large critter keeper we have. I gave Snow some water, which he drank for a good minute or so. This morning I gave him more water as well as some cheese and soy milk to try to fatten him up a bit. I'll be giving him some more water and trying to get him to eat again in a few more minutes.

My mom called a little bit ago saying never mind going over there this morning because she was going to the store. I was talking to her all calmly about what happened with Snow and Cloud, then I told her that I needed to get new rain boots for Bug. So ,mom goes into the whole "We just bought her new rain boots two months ago!" Umm, no, two months ago we got her new sneakers, not rain boots. Then she asks me if I want to go to the store so I can see what they have then take Angie back there this weekend. I told her no because I dislike going shopping when I don't have any money, which is a good reason not to go. So she comes back with "Okay fine" In such a nasty tone. So I asked her why she was upset with me wanting to wait, and that set her off. I was talking to her calmly even as she was yelling and having a fit, it just made her angrier. So I waited until she was quiet and calmly asked her if she was done, she said "I'm done and I'm hanging up now!" in that same angry, pissed off tone. Like I really needed that this morning? One of these days I'm going to tell her that she needs to talk to her doctor about getting on some kind of medication to help with her mood swings. To me it seems like she's bi-polar, she can go from happy and sweet one second to screaming and threatening you the next.  It's not healthy at all, and I really don't want Bug exposed to it because it makes Bug ask out toward Strider and I, which isn't good at all.

It's bad enough that KA and KM decided to shun me, I really don't need my mom's crap on top of that.  Speaking of KA and KM, KA never even said a word to me about no longer wanting me to pick up her daughter, instead she just started putting her with the MWR. That's fine, but then she suddenly has KM picking her up.  Yesterday when I told KM that she was welcome to join us on the trips we're planning for this summer, she comes back with "I can't, I'm watching KA's kids this summer and can't fit them all in my car." Woah, really? So instead of letting her daughter hang out with Bug, who was supposedly her daughter's BFF, she's putting her kids with KM? Thanks a lot, KA, seriously, thanks for the slap in the face...again.  The first slap in the face was when she got professional family photo's done after saying that she wanted me to do them. So instead of taking my offer of doing them for free she goes off and spends who knows how much without even telling me that she didn't me to do them. That's just wrong. I know I shouldn't let it bother me, but it does. Maybe because they had both claimed to not be to the type of person to just suddenly turn on someone. Oh well, I don't need people like that in my life, I have better people to hang out with anyway.

My biggest concern is that they're both in GS with Bug, one of them is an assistant leader like I am, this could cause some turbulence in the troop, which I seriously hope that it doesn't. I plan on giving KA the 12$ she fronted me so I could get Bug into the GS, that way I owe her anything and I can walk away with a clear conscience. If it starts trouble with them being in the troop with us, then I'll have to sit down and talk to A about it. As it is I think KM is disliking me because A asked me to be her assistant and that she comes to me first when it comes to information or things that need to be taken care of within the troop or for setting something up. I really don't want to have to leave GS because of their petty crap. Actually, if it comes down to it I'll just ignore them and see what happens. I mean, why should I walk away from something that Bug obviously enjoys? Why should I make her suffer because of them? I shouldn't and I won't. I'd sooner drive them to leave and go to another troop then stay and make it a bad experience for Bug and and the rest of the girls. I enjoy working with A to do things with the girls, it's great to see the smiles on their faces and listen to them talk about it afterward.


< /RANT >

Hamsters, walks and cages

It seems like we have to separate the hamsters. You didn't know we had hamsters? Sorry, I must have forgotten to mention it. We got them a little over a week ago. The pet store was giving them away since they were born there, two brothers.  Bug named them Storm and Cloud. They're Russian Dwarf hamsters, so cute.  But, anyway, we have to separate them, Cloud has been going after Snow, keeping him from the food and being a complete asshole to Snow. So, this weekend we'll be getting another enclosure with some tubes and such, should be cool for them.

I took Logan for a walk today, about 8/10's of a mile, it wasn't too bad. He pulled at first but he started to do better. Tomorrow I'll walk him again after breakfast, then maybe after lunch I'll go for a bike ride. Maybe at some point I'll start working out again, I need to tone my core and get myself back into shape. I want to have a killer body by the time Strider gets back from his impending deployment.

This weekend I need to clean out Sammy's tank, scoop and wash Eragon's tank, clean out the hamster cage and set up the new one, clean out Blue's enclosure and bathe the cats if I can. Might try to get some house cleaning in somewhere too.

Tomorrow Bug will have her best friend over to play, it'll be so good to see her happy and playing with her friend.  It's such a shame that KA turned away from me, Bug really enjoyed playing with her daughters. Oh well, it's their loss, right?

I guess that's it for now...


< /RANT >

She needs to chill or something...

It happened yet again today, my mom tried to start drama with Bug and make her cry.  When I told her to stop she snapped at me, I simply told her to stop what she was doing unless she wanted to make Bug cry and start drama, she kept pushing so I told her a final time and she snapped at me.  Seriously, what the fuck is her malfunction? It's as though she needs to confrontation, the drama, the need to scream and bitch at someone to live.

I've tried to tell her that she needs help, needs to talk to a therapist or what ever, but she says she doesn't need to.  The last time she went to see a therapist they suggested that she take medication and she flipped out on them, storming out of their office. Or at least, that's what she said had happened. I can't even tell when she's telling the truth anymore, I really can't. No matter what my mom is talking about she always sounds angry, she changes her story at least twice.  Then she wonders why Bug lies to me after spending time with her. I can see why and I've told Bug that if she keeps this up she'll end up just as angry and bitter as my mom. And that's the last thing that I want to see happen. Bug needs to be a happy kid, to do things like a kid and have fun, not be shut down by my mom every few minutes.

I better stop ranting before I give myself a headache.


< /RANT >

Grumbles & Strawberry

What is wrong with some people? I thought for sure that KA and KS were friends of mine, I guess not. Not only was KA at KS's house all day, they both decided not to go to strawberry picking with the troop. The excuse first started out being about the weather then moved on to being about KA's daughter not feeling well.  If she's not feeling well then why in the hell are you at KS's house?! Seriously, if she's sick then why the hell are you there?

Maybe I'm just being petty, but I feel that if you're going to say that you're friends with someone that you should act like it, not turn your back on them the second you get a new friend. It's a seriously shitty thing to do. Maybe I'm seeing something that isn't there, but I dunno, it sure as hell feels like they don't want to be friends with me anymore. I hope it's not the way it seems, I really do. I'd hate to lose friends because they decided to get stupid.

I guess this wouldn't bother me so much if it hadn't happened so much in the past. First it was a mom's group here that decided they were too good for me, then it was Kim and Sako, now these two. Is there something wrong with me? It's not me, it's got to be them, I haven't changed over the years, I'm still the same person I was.

What really sucks is that it's hurting Bug, it's taking friends away from her. She was good friends with Kim's kids and with Sako's kids, and she cried when they stopped talking to me because she wanted to know why they hated her so much. My poor Bug, the only thing I could tell her was that it wasn't her that they didn't like, that it was mommy. And now with KM and KA, if they're turning from me and keeping their kids away from Bug then they're truly shitty people. I hope that they get what they deserve for hurting people the way they're hurting Bug and I.

Even if they're turning from me I'll still put the invites out there for them to join us for outings and such. I'll be the bigger person about this whole thing. Let them be the way they're going to be, I refuse to be petty, and so I'll continue to put the invites out to them.

Bug had a blast strawberry picking with the troop, and she got a patch for it. I'm glad that she has friends, it's good for her. We picked about a gallon and a half between the two of us. The strawberries are so sweet and yummy, seriously. The way her face lit up when she was picking the strawberries made me so happy. If I could afford to go back there before pay day I would do it in a second.

Today she went to my moms house and picked boysenberries, she loved it. Then we went home and she helped me to plant a flower.

This morning she helped me with Blue's enclosure. Even though Blue clamped his beak down on my finger, Bug did what she was asked to do, she cleaned out his area and even got it all set up again.  Then she helped me to make the dry rub and sauce for the ribs we had for dinner tonight.

Bug asked if she could help me to train Logan, I told her she could but that meant that she had to listen to me as well. If the weather's nice tomorrow I'd like to go for a walk with bug and Logan, see how they both do. Maybe I'll put the short lead on as well as the long lead and let Bug hold one of them. I need to get Logan calmer on the leash when Bug's walking with us, he gets a bit too protective sometimes. One day he lunged at someone who was holding a hammer, another time he nearly went after a kid who came running toward us with a baseball bat. Logan is very protective over Bug and I.


< /RANT >

Good news and paracord

I went for the second ultra sound today. The stress over worrying about a tumor in my knee is now lifted off me. They said it was a misread...that's a pretty serious misread! Telling someone they have a fatty tumor sarcoma isn't a good misread to have. I was scared shitless! At least now I can breathe easier over it.

Bug had her hearing tested today, yet another thing I can wipe off the worry radar, although, I need to talk to her dr about setting up an appointment with an ENT to find out why her ears are always popping.

Now if I could get rid of most of my pain and the rest of the stress in my life maybe then I can sleep better and feel better.

I need to start working out again, maybe that'll help relieve some of the stress.  Maybe it'll also relax the muscles in my back enough so that I can pop my back, hips and maybe my neck too. I need to stay serious about working out and do it even if I'm having a bad day.  If it's a bad day then I'll just tone it down a bit and stick with just the yoga and maybe a little cardio. Don't want to make the pain worse, that would really suck.

Having all these pain issues is driving me up the wall.  Especially the unknown disease called Fibromyalgia that's causing a lot of the pain. So much badness with it, like memory issues, sleep issues, depression, lots of pain and stiffness, All that also goes along with menopause, osteoarthritis and the degenerative disc disease, and maybe with the osteoporosis. My MiL sent me a cookbook for fibromyalgia, I really should look through it and see what I can do with the recipes. You never know, they just might help with the pain and other symptoms.

On a different note, my foster daughter, Izzy, asked me if I'd start making show leads out of paracord. She wants to bring me the supplies and see what I can come up with, she said that they're selling for as much as 45$ a piece at shows.  I'll give it a try, not sure if it'll amount to anything but I can at the very least try. If this works out then I might just start and online store and sell them that way too.

I guess we'll just have to wait and see what happens.


< /RANT >

Pisses me off...

I swear to Gods, no matter what the hell is going on Strider has to go hide in the damned computer room.  I understand that the computer is in there, but he goes in there and starts playing Facebook games! Really?! Are those games really that important to him? Seriously pisses me off.

Today I had asked him to hang out with Bug outside while she played outside in the small pool, what does he do? He sits in the fucking dining room and plays a game on his cell phone with the window open!! That's apparently his idea of watching her!! What the fuck!!

He refuses to work out, he refuses to eat less, he's getting fat and he doesn't seem to give a shit. Gah! I'm putting on weight and it's turning into fat, so I
m working out, riding my bike 2 days a week, plus going to PT three days a week.  I still try to get the flab gone even with all that pain I'm in every single fucking day. If I can do it why the hell can't he? Lazy! That's why, he's fucking lazy!

My mom seems to think that she needs to know everything that's going on with Bug, especially at school.  It's as though she's trying to be a mom to Bug. Sorry, I'm Bug's mom, not her. She wasn't that good of a mom when I was growing up. To be honest, she wasn't quite right, she was always lashing out verbally, physically, and psychologically. She was always so damned angry all the time, she's still angry all the time.

Sometimes I wonder if maybe it's not jealousy, jealousy over the fact that I'm still married to a man that loves me and she's not. She ended up losing her marriage when I was three, could she still be holding a hatred over it? She's always bringing up the past and trying to get me to side with her. She even told me that my grandparents used to abuse her, beat her and such. I'm sorry, but I can't believe that, not even a little bit.  She always says how her sister hates her, and how her sister had been mean to her during her sisters son's funeral. I don't think it was all my aunt's fault, there's got to be a reason behind it all.  Even my aunt won't talk about it, she even told me that she doesn't want to talk about or even hear my mom's name at all after what she did, but she won't tell me what she had gone. Gah! That's frustrating as all hell.

There are so many inconsistencies when my mom talks about something that it's so obvious that she's lying. I'm starting to think that Bug's tendencies to tell tales and lye about things is something she's learning from my mom, so not good.

Just a little bit ago she called and was acting all "I gotta know what's going on" type of thing. She kept asking me to repeat when my appointments were tomorrow, she wants a reason to bitch about Strider. She's convinced that he's not a good dad or husband. You know what? The military takes him away from us, and I can deal with that. If she sees that as a failure as a husband and dad then she needs to wake to hell up and realize that his job isn't like a civilian job, he has no choice.

My mom said it was bullshit that he'd still deploy if the thing in my knee turned out to be cancer, well, I dunno, we'd have to see what happens when we get the results.

::sighs::  Somedays it's just not worth it to get out of bed or to start thinking about things, or to even answer the phone. lol


< /RANT >